Thoughts

Next June a friend is coming to D.C. for a convention. I was talking to him last week and brought this up, wondering if he would take a couple of days to visit while he was in the neighborhood. At this point things are still unsure, but it is really early yet.

During the conversation it came up about an experience I had in the past recent years. Another friend had plans to come through this area and had asked me for my phone number so we could meet for lunch or the day or something. I had kept in touch with her right up until the day I knew she was to be in town and then...silence. Three weeks later, she wrote and told me she was indeed in town for a day or two, had packed my phone number and decided to drive on by without a word. She never heard of "INFORMATION"? My phone number was in the book. She could have also found it on-line. But she didn't bother.

I could feel the loud silence on the other end of the phone as I told this story to my friend last week. He knew the woman that this story was about and I got the impression that he keeps in close touch with her.

When I got that letter from the friend who passed through, she asked me not to give up on her. But in all honesty, I think I gave up on a lot the day she passed through town. Within a couple of months I had sold the daybed that I kept in case of overnight guests, refit the armorer, pulled the carpet out and rebuilt that room into a TV/Den room.

I began to think I just don't have anything to offer these friends. I'm not rich, or so ambitious that I'd walk over anyone to get what I want. People like the friend who passed through are very wealthy and got that way for a reason. I know she didn't realize exactly how she was treating me that day, or that I would be heartbroken that she thought so little of me. I just don't have anything to offer that is of value to her.

As I was telling all this to my friend last week, it hit home again and it made me sad. It made me realize I have nothing to offer anyone except love.

Maybe he'll come for a visit. We'll see. Right now it's late and I"m quite tired. Besides, I've got to work tomorrow.