Friday, February 03, 2006

A Lost Friend

It was February 17, nine year ago when I first met Ken. I met him on the Rose board, a question and answer area of AOL. He was a gentle, helpful man who had answers to some of my more stupid rose questions. Everyone on that board was helpful.

About two years after I first started visiting this board, a group of us decided that we wanted to go on a trip together. Families included. At first there were quite a few but in the end only about a dozen of us went. About a year later, I started putting together group gatherings for the Mid-Atlantic bunch. Ken, from New Jersey at the time, was among those invited. We usually went to Longwood Gardens or Hershey Gardens getting together about twice a summer.

The first time I actually met Ken in person he was driving a Miata which I recognized even if I didn't recognize Ken. And how could I. I'd never even seen a picture of him. Yet, somehow, I knew him when I saw him. I boldly went up to him, my roses in hand and introduced myself. He stared at me for a moment before he realized who this strange woman approaching him was. He introduced me and Husband to his beautiful wife Andrea and off we went to meet the rest of the group in front of Longwood's entrance. This was a time when many of the Mid-Atlantic board friends had met and we started chatting as if we were old friends. Well, in a way, I guess we were. We'd been chatting for about 3 years on line so when we got together, we actually picked up conversation where it had left off the night before. The getting to know you stage was already done. It was a beautiful day and the gardens were wonderful. After some time touring the grounds, we hopped off to the picnic area for some of the best homemade food the East Coast had to offer. And so went our group meetings where ever we would meet.

June of last year, Ken retired from his job and he and wife moved to Washington. This was his dream. He loved it out there and bought a house a couple of years ago. During vacations and time off he and Andrea would go out there to see about the remodeling efforts to their new home so it would be ready for them when they were. In the meantime, Ken got cancer. He fought it valiantly for two years. When his doctors thought they had it under control, he moved to his Washington home. Shortly after he wrote to say that the cancer had come back but that he would fight it once again. Three weeks ago, Andrea wrote to say that he had given up the fight and stopped treatments. He passed February 2nd.

Ken was a good friend...Someone I cared very deeply for. He will be missed. I had promised Husband I wouldn't buy any roses for the garden this year since I had so many that needed homes as it is but there is one I will be planting. Sharifa Asma. This was Ken's favorite rose. I will plant one to remember him.

The Mid-Atlantic rosarians from the AOL rose board. From left to right Margy Hope, Maria, Carol, Julie (me)and Ken standing in the back. We were the group at Hershey Gardens that day. Our families were there as well, standing by waiting for the picture to be taken.

2 comments:

Unknown said...

Hi Julie - I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend. It sounds like he will be truly missed by the people whose lives he shared. I always feel so blessed by the internet and how it has allowed us to know people we would never otherwise have met.

Carmon

Austin of Sundrip said...

I agree with Carmon, our support systems can be international.

i like the idea that you and Carmon have about planting memory roses. that's pretty cool.

you are in my thoughts,
Austin